4/26/15

Today's gospel reading at mass (as was yesterday's) was from the Gospel of John, where Jesus says:

I am the good shepherd. A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. A hired man, who is not a shepherd and whose sheep are not his own, sees a wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away, and the wolf catches and scatters them. This is because he works for pay and has no concern for the sheep. I am the good shepherd, and I know mine and mine know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I will lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. These also I must lead, and they will hear my voice, and there will be one flock, one shepherd. This is why the Father loves me, because I lay down my life in order to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down on my own. I have power to lay it down, and power to take it up again. This command I have received from my Father. (John 10:11-18)

On the face of it, it's obviously about Jesus' role as a guide and protector—a manifestation and symbol of God in the world. The good shepherd is Jesus, who cares for and watches over his flock, us. And for leaders of the Church after him, it serves as a model for leadership. The good shepherd is one who cares for and guides their flock, who goes after those that are lost, and who ultimately is willing to lay down their life for those they care for.

But internalizing this passage, I think it can also been seen as a metaphor for our own inner good shepherd, our conscience — the rational part of our soul to take an image from Plato — that watches out for the wolves of greed, aversion, and delusion and guides the other parts towards the good and the beautiful. Or to use an image from the Buddha, the good shepherd is akin to the gate-keeper of mindfulness.

As I listened to the readings and Fr. Larry's homily, which focused a great deal on vocational discernment, I was struck as I often am by the amount of wisdom contained in the Bible, especially in the words of Jesus, and I found myself wanting to be like the lamp that "gives light to all in the house" (Mt 5:14-16). I want to help people see the wealth of wisdom these teachings have to offer us, to illuminate their relevance in our modern lives.

In the depths of my soul, I feel called. I don't know if I'm being called to live a consecrated life, but I know without a doubt that it has to be a deeply spiritual one. (After mass, Fr. Larry joked that it was the third day in a row he'd seen me and that maybe it was a sign). Immersing myself in my faith gives me so much happiness and meaning. Religious life is the only way of life that really makes sense to me. I want to immerse myself in contemplation and prayer. I want to labour for the needs of all, not for money.

I pray to see the path God has laid before me, and the strength to follow wherever it may lead.