8/28/15

I met up with Fr. Michael for breakfast today before going to the noon mass. It was nice. We went to Tom's this time. We talked about everything from my exchange with Chris to my affinity for St. Augustine despite some of the issues I have with his influence on theology and Church doctrine, especially his concept of original sin and negative views of sex. Nevertheless, he has a special place in my heart, and I've always been drawn towards him, perhaps in part because I see in him a fellow seeker of truth.

A year ago today, I was in Boston for a wedding, and I went to morning mass at Our Lady of Victories. I remember how much I wanted to take communion on St. Augustine's feast day. I didn't, of course, because I wanted to wait until the Easter Vigil, seeing the RCIA process through to the end. As called as I was to the altar that day, I respected the traditions of initiation, and I knew I wasn't really ready. But I never forgot that feeling. So today, I made it a point to go to mass, in honour of St. Augustine.

They didn't have a lector, so they asked me to do it. It was my first time, and I was extremely nervous; but I don't think I did too badly of a job. Fr. Bill was the presider. Jean from B- was there, too. (In fact, I think she's the one who nominated me to do the readings.) I read a section of Paul's letter to the Thessalonians and the responsorial Psalm. The gospel reading was from Matthew, the parable of the ten virgins, one of my least favourite. After mass, Fr. Bill said that we should get together for coffee or something before I go back to work, and we're scheduled to meet on 9/11 at 9am. I also asked to borrow Garry Wills' short biography of St. Augustine that I started reading before mass.

Later, I decided to go to St. Mary's Cathedral for the 5:30pm mass since I was meeting up with some friends downtown. During the homily, the priest mentioned that the oil in the parable is a metaphor for good deeds, and the message is 'never tire of doing good.' And in that sense, one can see why the five with oil for their lamps couldn't just simply share the oil they had, why they had to go out and get their own oil from the merchants.

After mass, I walked over to my friend's place for a little get-together, which was fun. They made pizza, and let me try their 18yr old scotch. Not long after I got there, Fr. Michael sent me a link to an interesting article, "Heathens against hate: Exclusive interview with the high priest of the Icelandic Pagan Association," saying, "I liked this article on so many levels. There is no sanctuary from narrow-minded fundamentalists." He joked, "Just don't tell Chris I'm trying to turn you into a heathen"; and I mentioned that I was actually a practicing 'heathen' for a number of years, crediting it for a lot of my open-mindedness and tolerance.

At one point in our conversation, Fr. Michael said that he didn't believe in coincidences, and I responded: "Yeah. It's hard not to see the patterns the threads of our lives weave. That's why I've always been fond of the Stoic idea of logos, which itself is akin to the pagan idea of fate and the movement of the Holy Spirit throughout the fabric of history." He seemed to appreciate the sentiment.

I'm still having trouble writing. Every word seems to be forced these days, like I'm writing more out of obligation than anything else. I wonder how long that'll last.