Sat in on the Friday Portland Friends of the Dhamma group today. The format has changed somewhat now that Matthew is leading the group. The meditation period is about 10-15min shorter, and the focus is on investigating certain weekly themes. Tonight's theme was contentment, and Matthew offered this passage for reflection: "For one who is not content, unwholesome, unskillful qualities arise and wholesome, skillful qualities decline. For one who is content, wholesome, skillful qualities arise and unwholesome, unskillful qualities decline."
For me, contentment is something I have trouble cultivating. I'm more often than not quite discontent with things and wish them to be otherwise. My inner critic is quite loud and vocal, and I can see the truth of the Buddha's words. Lately, I've been less than content at work, and I notice that I find myself more irritable, judgmental, and liable to lash out with unskillful actions of body, speech, and mind because of it. A grumble here. A mean thought there. A sour disposition the majority of each day, and sometimes being short with both coworkers and customers.
One of the things that's helped, when I've been able to at least, is to be more aware of the amount of energy I put into those negative mental states and remind myself that it's not worth putting the energy towards thinking mean things and feeding my discontent. Doing so helps me counteract some of those unskillful qualities and even cultivate more skillful ones. I'm not always successful, though, and I wish I had more patience. My short temper and lack of patience are two of my biggest character flaws.
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