I was looking at my notebook and reflecting on the past week. Not much has happened, but at the same time, it feels like a lot has happened, most of it in my head I suppose. For example, at work the other day, I was thinking about why it makes me so unhappy. One of the reasons is the nature of customer service-related jobs and the way they coerce you into endless fake relationships.
Reading Without Buddha I Could not be a Christian, I'm really seeing how God (InterBeing) comes through, or is expressed in, our relationships with one another, bringing to mind the psychological interpretation of the Trinity offered by the likes of Augustine, Aquinas, etc. Jesus' commandment to love our neighbour is a commandment to enter into a relationship with others. But for these relationships to be genuine, loving, fruitful, they must be natural.
In contrast, I'm expected on a daily basis to enter into relationships that are mechanical, fake, empty, in order to facilitate transactions for profit. Real relationships are fulfilling; fake ones are anything but. In many ways, they're dehumanizing; and after the first dozen or so, I find myself closing off, becoming a robot, "Hello. What would you like? Would you like anything else? That will be $_____. Thank you. Here's your change." Of course there are those few regulars who you do have real interactions with beyond the exchange of goods and services, and I live for those interactions. They're what keep me sane. But the majority of them are so forced, so rushed and unpleasant, so empty of life that it's hard not to walk out a shell empty of life yourself.
It's not an exaggeration to say that a big part of why I love going to church every chance I get is to recharge and reclaim my humanity by entering into a relationship with the community through fellowship and with God through the Eucharist. I've tried finding that at work, too, but I've found those kinds of mechanical relationships to be barren soil.
Something else I got to thinking about is the ways we tend to share our beliefs and practices with one another. Watching an episode of Sons of Anarchy, I realized why I find those things difficult to talk about and share directly even though we're called to share the 'good news' with others at the end of every mass.
SoA is about a motorcycle gang; and thinking about the concept of 'brotherhood,' I thought about our need for companionship and camaraderie. We look for people we trust, places we feel safe. In social groups like gangs, clubs, fraternities, etc., you're surrounded by people who have been initiated in some way into the group. Because of that, they're people you, at least ideally, feel you can trust, who you share something with and feel safe around.
In the show, there's a room where only members can enter, where all club business is discussed and club decisions made. Everyone in that room has been 'initiated' and is on the same page. Outside that room, certain things can't be shared with outsiders, either because they simply wouldn't understand or because it could hurt the club, but they still share their beliefs through what they wear, what they do, etc.
In the same way, the church for me is that room. Of course, anyone can walk through those doors, and that's OK. But I'd have trouble inviting someone I know who's uninterested in, or even hostile to, religion to come with me, just as I'd have trouble talking to someone uninterested in, or even hostile to, religion about religion directly. That doesn't mean I don't share anything at all, though; I just try to do it in more subtle ways. With people critical of Christianity and Jesus, for example, I might try to stress the subversive and egalitarian things Jesus said and did in order to help them see beyond their prejudices.
And at church, even though I'd like to share my experience with others, it's an intimate, personal experience. For me, it's a safe space in which I can enter into a relationship with God in the mystery of the Eucharist. It's not something I can explain to others; and when I'm there I really just want to be open to the moment, not worrying about being judged by someone who might not understand.
You write… I'm expected on a daily basis to enter into relationships that are mechanical, fake, empty, in order to facilitate transactions for profit. Real relationships are fulfilling; fake ones are anything but. In many ways, they're dehumanizing; and after the first dozen or so, I find myself closing off, becoming a robot, "Hello. What would like? Would you like anything else? That will be $_____. Thank you. Here's your change."
ReplyDeleteI have never worked in quite that kind of service job, but I have done face-to-face and over-the-phone customer service for my business, machinery manufacturing (anything but spiritual or uplifting). Also, I play the reverse roll on a regular basis in my day to day life, that of ‘customer.’ I do not find this kind of work, or these4 encounters dehumanizing. Quite the contrary, they are the best possible opportunities into inject humanity into a world where it is largely lacking. It’s up to you, not ‘the other guy’, to make it happen, and this is what I am suggesting.
No matter how mundane the transaction, whether it’s taking orders in a subway sandwich shop or cafeteria, or trying to help a customer through a technical problem or even selling them another product, we can still be the human face of the Gospel, of Jesus Christ, to the other person; and without them knowing it, they can be the human face of Christ to us. We can do this, and in most cases probably should, without giving religion or spirituality a thought. If we believe in the incarnation of God, in us, and as us, then how can we speak of any encounter as ‘mechanical, fake, empty’?
When I am a customer, say, going shopping at Winco or Fred Meyer for groceries, I can’t wait to see who I’ll get as a cashier. I never use the self-checkout unless I’m in a rush or have one or two items in hand while the cashiers are all bogged down with basket-monsters with hundreds of items. I look forward to the checkout because I like to engage the cashier, get into their lives as much as they’ll let me, even if only a smile is all they can accept. Usually though, in the small talk, sometimes joking, sometimes intuition-led probing, a momentary communion of hearts or minds or both is reached, something that remains till the next time. And if there is no next time, I know I’ve left behind something of myself that tells the other person I valued them enough to stop and chat, that I value them.
When I did customer service, I did similar things, although I must admit, I didn’t look forward to the next tech support call as I look forward to the cashier at the store. Sometimes it would be a customer in crisis, and I might be his or her immediate target. That was a different kind of challenge, a different kind of opportunity, but I almost never finished the transaction without having gained a friend, who knew that I cared about them, that what was important to them was important to me too.
No, brother, you don’t have to ‘find myself closing off, becoming a robot,’ no matter how repetitive or mundane is your job, as long as you are in personal encounter with human beings. Yes, I agree. Become robotic and free your mind to meditate on the sublime Reality if you are, like I used to be in my final years at the factory, just running a machine, making the same part in hundreds of identical iterations. When I was doing that, though, human beings did come by. They did ask me for things. Sometimes they needed help withy something they were doing. What did I do? I joined the encounter, accepted them as ‘sent’ by Christ, and tried my best to serve them, and love them, as Christ coming to me. When they left, I might spend four hours straight without seeing another human being. Bliss! To be alone with Christ in His unknown, unrecognized, hidden presence. But then, a door would open and, ‘Hey, can you help me with this for a moment. I need to borrow you!’ and off I went.
ReplyDeleteIf one cannot find peace in serving Christ in His common humanity under the disguise of our neighbor, our customer, our boss, our brother or sister, our friend, or the one who we know hates or despises us without cause, then the peace we experience in environments we can control, is what really is ‘mechanical, fake, empty’ and will not last. Should we be so unfortunate as to have everything go our way and be able to seek the God within by rejecting the God without, we may be blind to it, but it will be obvious to others that we’re just playing a game. Some play the ‘game of Church.’ Others play the ‘game of Boddhisatva.’ Some play the ‘game of Thrones.’ In the end, unless you win Christ by surrendering to Him in whatever way He comes to you, games won’t save you though they comfort for a moment. There is no game. It’s all for real, because Christ is all, and in all.
Peace be with you, brother.